When I´m trying to see or understand myself I feel like I´m running into a wall, how can I break through?

You won´t. At least not with your rational mind, with your thinking mind.
There are so many components to who you are, so many variations of what your life is summed up.
I don´t think it is for that part of us, the rational thinking mind, to fully understand ourselves and our life in its wholeness, changing again with every new moment. There is also some information saved in us, that is not directly and completely available for a very good reason, it is too much of a threat to your healthy functioning mind. Other information is just not available because it wasn´t important or important enough so far.
But being the beautiful complex and advanced creatures that we are, there is another part of us that has more information. A navigation system that has excess to a much larger database: our intuition.
Due to that huge data excess, it can only communicate in the basic language of guts feelings, meaning: more of a good or of a bad feeling. Much like a compass, a simple plate with letters painted on it showing that huge information of where the top and where the bottom of a planet is, opposite a machine with many buttons and functions like a calculator.
But good or bad feeling about what? That’s where our rational thinking mind comes in. Our intuition needs information, ideas, questions to say yes or no to. Your intuition will never tell you „go down to the lake and take a breather, that will calm your nervous system, what will change your brain function and because of that you will find the solution to your problem“. It waits until you pause your analytical mind long enough for your bodily feelings to come through to your consciousness and with that your emotions because they are always also interpretations of physical processes. So you get the message that you don´t feel so good in that pause of the analytical mind. Now your rational thinking mind can make suggestions on how to better the situation and your intuition can guide you along. You might wonder if you feel cold and get a no feeling. You might wonder if you are thirsty and get a yes feeling so you drink something and check-in again. It feels better now but there is still something and you wonder what it is until you discover that your back feels tight. You might get the idea to take a run what gives you an ok feeling but not the best you could have. Finally, you suggest to yourself to take a walk and that idea feels the best, it feels right. So will you take a walk by the street? Warm feeling but could be warmer. Maybe you better go to the lake. Good feeling, warm feeling, hit the spot, won the price.
The biggest challenge is not to let the comments that your rational thinking mind probably makes on the suggestions and feelings distract you too much.
That is how it works, that is how you can excess that huge database of all that you are, with your intuition and your rational thinking mind working together.

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